


General Hux's Unsolved Mystery

by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Disguise, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Frottage, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mind Manipulation, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Pre-Canon, Pre-TFA, Soft Kylux, Strangers to Lovers, Unrequited Love, with the force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-25 05:23:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14371812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneWhoSitsWithTurtles/pseuds/OneWhoSitsWithTurtles
Summary: After a recent fight with Ren, Hux disappears to an unused storage room where he can be alone as the sound of the ship's engines drowns out his thoughts. It has always been his refuge, but this time Hux is caught off guard when a stranger named Matt finds him. Against his better judgement Hux gives in to the instinct that Matt is trustworthy and forms an unexpected connection with the radar technician. However, after a quick kiss Matt runs away and when Hux tries to track him down, he realizes he has a mystery on his hands that leads him right back to his enemy – Kylo Ren.





	General Hux's Unsolved Mystery

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by [this awesome artwork](https://gaylo-ben.tumblr.com/post/165951480558/the-generals-most-personal-unsolved-mystery-hux) by [gaylo-ben](https://gaylo-ben.tumblr.com/). Huge **THANK YOU** to the artist for the permission to link the artwork in my story! I suck at writing comedy so this fic turned out more fluffy and angsty than the art but I hope you still enjoy it regardless ^.^

Hux’s eyes flashed open and he inhaled sharply, startled awake by an unknown hand shaking his shoulder. An unknown hand which was attached to an unknown person, Hux discovered as his eyes skirted up the long appendage to a face he didn’t recognize. That raised almost as many questions as how this person managed to find Hux in the first place.

 

They were in a relatively small storage room on one of the lowest decks of the Finalizer. The room was an eight foot by eight foot square, filled only with empty shelving. Originally it had been created to store backup supplies for the engines in the next room but was then replaced when a larger, secured storage area was created. Only separated from the engines by a thick wall, noise and vibrations enveloped the room but that was why Hux liked it. Whenever Hux needed to get away from it all and _not think_ for a few minutes, this was where he came. The noise drowned out his overactive brain and no one could find him to interrupt him until Hux was ready to leave.

 

Well, almost no one, apparently.

 

The stranger in front of him towered above Hux, his body tall and broad. Even his hand, still resting on Hux’s shoulder, was large. Hux shrugged it away and stood quickly, studying the intruder in more detail. He had a mop of curly blond hair that rested over his ears, brown eyes framed by oversized glasses, a wide nose and mouth, and pale skin mottled with the occasional mole.

 

“Identify yourself,” Hux demanded. He was already unnerved at the thought of a subordinate finding him asleep in a place like this but Hux ignored his urge to smooth out any potential wrinkles from his uniform.

 

The man blinked twice before he answered. “Uh, I’m Matt. I’m a radar technician.”

 

Of course Hux had recognized the uniform the stranger was wearing but he couldn’t recall the face or name. “How did you find me down here?”

 

“Find you?” Matt repeated the question, his eyebrows furrowed. “Look, I just discovered you, the General of the Finalizer, unconscious in a storage room. I wanted to make sure you weren’t dead.”

 

“Regardless, what were you doing down here in the first place?” Hux asked. None of the equipment associated with the Finalizer’s radar technology was located in this part of the ship.

 

To his surprise, instead of being cooperative Matt crossed his arms. “I could ask you the same question.”

 

Suddenly Hux realized that he had a lot more to lose in this exchange than Matt did. Yes, Matt could lose his job if Hux decided to fire him. But if Hux was deemed unfit for duty he could lose his ship, his rank, and the respect he had earned through tireless years of work. Hux’s hands balled into fists at his sides. He couldn’t lie and say he had been working because he had no datapad or anything else to prove he was doing anything other than sleeping. It was Hux’s sleep cycle so technically he wasn’t doing anything wrong but higher ups would still ask questions.

 

“Listen,” Hux said just loudly enough to be heard over the hum of the engines. “We will both walk away from this and forget we ever saw each other, understood?”

 

Matt pursed his lips for a moment and then shrugged. “I suppose; though I should take you to medical.”

 

“I’m not sick!” Hux insisted, ducking away from the hand Matt reached out towards him. Matt raised an eyebrow, no doubt wondering what other reason there would be for him to find his General on the floor. “Look, I was just here to relax, alright?” Hux admitted at last. “I’m completely healthy.”

 

“Relax?” Matt studied him closely but loosened his posture, tucking his hands in his pockets. “Isn’t that what your personal quarters are for? And, you know, a bed?”

 

Hux sighed and leaned back against the wall. “It’s the noise and vibration of the engines; they help me clear my head. I didn’t mean to stay so long or fall asleep,” he added.

 

“I saw you heading in this direction about an hour ago,” Matt told him, shoulders hunched in his uniformed jacket. “When I didn’t see you coming back and heard about the fight you just had with… Lord Ren, I came looking for you to make sure you were okay.”

 

Not knowing what to say in response to Matt’s thoughtful concern, Hux instead scoffed at the mention of his confrontation with Ren. “I assure you it takes more than a disagreement with Ren to rattle me.” Strictly speaking that wasn’t true. Normally Hux could handle Ren but today the Knight’s words had been particularly cutting; cruel words so similar to what Hux grew up with that they echoed in his father’s disapproving tone. But a radar technician didn’t need to know about any of that.

 

Matt leaned in closer and Hux’s posture stiffened, unaccustomed to having someone else in his personal space. Matt was frowning, looking a bit sad. “You don’t always have to act infallible, you know. Everyone knows you are an excellent General.”

 

Despite himself, Hux snorted his amusement. “Not everyone would agree with you.” To his surprise, Matt moved into a seated position beside Hux, on the ground with his back against the durosteel wall. “What are you doing?” Hux asked.

 

For the first time Matt smiled and though it was lopsided it made Hux feel more at ease. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”

 

“Who would you tell? I’m the one in charge,” Hux pointed out with a chuckle.

 

Matt’s smile sharpened into a challenge. “Then what are you worried about?”

 

Hux licked his lips, deliberating, and then slid to the floor to sit beside Matt. He really shouldn’t be doing this with a subordinate, sitting and talking like they were intimate friends. But when Matt smiled and their eyes fully met for the first time, intuition lit up his brain like a firework, insisting that Matt was safe and could be trusted. “Aren’t there other things you should be doing?” Hux said as he crossed his legs and set his hands in his lap.

 

Matt’s head remained turned, watching him. “Things I should be doing? Yes. Things I’d rather be doing? Not really. So tell me, and be honest: are you okay?”

 

The ache in his chest that Ren’s words had caused was still there, but it was fading. Hux was accustomed to taking criticism from his father. The only thing that had upset him during his fight with Ren was the needling worry that Ren might be right to question his competency. Hux thought he was doing a good job but what if someone else could do better dealing with the Resistance? He had proved his father wrong many times and he planned to prove Ren wrong as well, but it would take time to silence his self-doubt fully.

 

“I will be,” he answered honestly.

 

“Does it have something to do with what Lord Ren said to you?” Matt asked so quietly Hux had to strain to hear him over the engines. Hux hesitated. His most recent argument with Ren had occurred on the bridge which meant that the gossip mill would already be spreading details about what was said. However, Hux was nervous at the thought of confiding in a subordinate and, more importantly, a stranger. Hux tensed when Matt placed a warm hand on his knee and their eyes met. “You can trust me,” Matt told him.

 

The words started to bubble up Hux’s throat without his consent, a sudden urge compelling him to share his thoughts with Matt and to let go of his guarded nature just once. Matt was safe. Hux could trust Matt to keep his secrets. And so Hux told Matt about what Ren had said and how the words had hurt because it was what his father had been saying since his youth. With some light prompting Hux also told Matt about his habit of over-thinking and worrying while he tried to manage all of his responsibilities as General, and how the engine noise drowned all that out until he got control of himself again.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Hux looked over at Matt with a frown. “What are you sorry for?” he wondered, puzzled.

 

“I didn’t realize you were dealing with all of that,” Matt said, which didn’t really answer the question.

 

For the first time since he had started telling his story Hux realized Matt’s hand was still on his knee and Hux hadn’t knocked it off. He decided not to bother now. “You don’t need to apologize for that,” Hux told him. “Part of my job is to make everything look seamless and under control so that’s the point. Besides, you have no control over what I face.”

 

Matt seemed to think this over for a minute and then asked another question. “Do you hate him? Kylo Ren? It would make sense if you did.”

 

Hux studied Matt’s face, trying to discern Matt’s motivations. He was uneasy at the thought of complaining about his co-commander to someone who could easily spread Hux’s words around the ship and to Ren himself. And yet Hux still felt that deep certainty that Matt was on his side and wouldn’t betray him. So Hux gave the question real consideration and then answered truthfully. “There are days where I want to strangle him, like when he’s acting childish or petty but no, I don’t hate him. Ren and I are just two very different people, both doing what we think is best. I can’t fault him for that.”

 

Matt said nothing and Hux shifted his weight uncomfortably. It had actually felt amazingly relieving to open up and share his burdens with someone else, to finally let go instead of bottling it all up. But now as Matt remained silent, doubt started to creep into Hux’s veins. Had he said something wrong? Confessed too much? Just when Hux began to stand, deciding it was better to leave, Matt’s hand on his knee tightened its hold. “Stay. Please.”

 

Hux weathered his lip before settling back onto the floor. “You’re quite odd,” Hux said, more so as an observation than an accusation.

 

Matt’s chuckle sounded tired. “I’ve never been very skilled at connecting with other people,” Matt confessed. “But I want you to know I understand what you’re dealing with.” Hux gave Matt a disbelieving look. “I do!”

 

“Tell me then,” Hux suggested. Matt looked down at the floor, smile gone and face pinched with anxiety. Hux cleared his throat and tried to soften his tone from one of command to one of encouragement. “Trust goes both ways, you know.”

 

Matt exhaled heavily, the heat of his hand still pressed against Hux’s knee. At last Matt spoke. “Let’s just say I was never enough for my parents either. My father loved us but he loved his job more, almost always off planet. And my mother… well, she had high hopes for me and what I’m doing now is the exact opposite of what she wanted.”

 

Hux listened silently as Matt shared more about his childhood growing up, about his strained family ties and lonely years of schooling without friends. At first Matt’s words were halted and awkward but soon they were rushing out of him so quickly Matt was almost tripping over them. Perhaps Matt had been bottling things up the way Hux had, and was relieved to finally be confessing it all to someone else; someone to help bear the weight.

 

“I can’t go home anymore,” Matt finished his story by saying. His tone was somewhere between pain and defiance. “They wouldn’t accept me now. I don’t belong anywhere.”

 

With another exhale Matt seemed to deflate against the wall. Hux could see that Matt’s free hand was balled into a fist in his lap, while his other gripped tightly to Hux’s leg. Though it was hard to explain, Hux could almost _feel_ the anger and sadness coiled in Matt. He considered his options and then tentatively placed his hand atop Matt’s on his knee and squeezed. Matt looked over at him uncertainly. “You belong here, on this ship,” Hux stated firmly.

 

Hux had always hoped he could become the type of leader that people believed in and _wanted_ to work for. He made an effort to remain aware of the goings-on aboard his ship and to show interest in his employees. Things had been busy lately with the Resistance fighting back more viciously than they had in the past, but Hux realized he wanted to renew his effort to make his subordinates feel like the Finalizer was their home. They were more likely to dedicate themselves to their work if it felt like they were protecting their home and family.

 

Hux’s attention refocused on the present situation when he noticed Matt twisting their hands to lace their fingers together. All at once Hux’s heart rate sped up, not with fear but with nervous anticipation. Hux watched as Matt’s dark eyes flickered down to Hux’s lips and lingered before Matt looked back up at him. And then Matt leaned in and pressed their lips together.

 

There was an instant where Hux’s heart fluttered and then he used his free hand to push Matt back, separating their lips. Matt let out a tiny whine of displeasure, the noise not helping Hux’s motivation to put a stop to this. “I… we shouldn’t do this,” he told Matt after a moment. “We’re practically strangers and you’re my subordinate.”

 

Matt’s gaze again dropped to the floor, his expression forlorn. “I can’t regret kissing you since I’ve thought about doing it for so long, but I’ll leave if you want me to.”

 

Hux opened his mouth to agree but no words came out, because Matt leaving was _not_ what Hux wanted. He was flattered by Matt’s candid interest and although Matt wasn’t what Hux would consider to be ‘his type’, Hux couldn’t deny the innate attraction he felt to the other man. They had entrusted one another with personal secrets and while none of this was necessarily a good idea, Matt felt _safe_. To trust, to open up to, to be with.

 

“Just… one more kiss,” Hux said, though it sounded more like a plea.

 

Immediately Matt surged into his personal space again, sealing his larger lips over Hux’s own. Hux angled his body towards Matt and leaned into the kiss, moaning when their lips locked. Matt moaned in response and held the back of Hux’s neck in his hand, deepening the kiss. Their lips moved together, both of them shy until the kiss grew natural. Hux could feel his body growing hot in his uniform, arousal pooling in his belly as Matt held him close and kissed his breath away.

 

They broke apart a minute later, both of them breathing hard with flushed cheeks and darkened eyes. Deciding they had already crossed boundaries and there was no going back, Hux moved away from the wall and wrapped his arms around Matt’s shoulders before leaning backwards. Taking the hint, Matt wrapped his arms around Hux in return and gently led him onto his back on the floor, covering Hux’s body with his own. Hux slid his hands down from Matt’s shoulders to his biceps, surprised and turned on to feel the defined muscles there.

 

“Hux…” Matt whispered as he leaned down and pressed warm kisses along Hux’s jaw. “You’re so beautiful.”

 

Hux shivered at the attention and skimmed his hands along Matt’s back, pleased to feel hidden muscle there as well. A part of him had alarm bells going off in his head, shocked that he was letting this happen, but the rest of him couldn’t care enough to stop. Matt shifted his weight and immediately they both groaned as their erections rubbed together. Hux’s fingers clutched tighter at Matt’s jacket, keeping him close as he sighed the other man’s name, “Matt…”

 

Instantly Matt tensed and despite Hux tightening his hold, Matt broke free of his grasp and sat back on his heels. Matt’s erection was obvious as it tented the front of his work pants and Matt clenched his eyes closed. “Kriff. I have to go.”

 

Hux felt his heart sink. “Did I do something wrong? Wait!” he called after Matt but the radar technician was already on his feet and out the door. By the time Hux got to his feet and through the doorframe, the hallways were empty with no sign of which direction Matt had gone. Hux forced himself to walk back into the storage room and close the door, his uniform tighter fitted than Matt’s. It would be impossible for Hux to make it back to his personal quarters without someone seeing his erection. Not that it took long for it to wane with how confused and disappointed he felt by Matt’s sudden rejection.

 

Once his arousal had faded Hux quickly returned to his rooms and locked the door behind him. He stepped into the refresher to clean off and then fell into bed, hating himself a little more when he saw there were only a few remaining hours until his next shift started. Worse, Hux knew he was too riled up to sleep well. He was a bundle of fear, anger and hurt, worried that Matt would betray the secrets Hux had confessed to him and also frustrated by Matt’s departure. Hux decided that after his next shift he would look up Matt the radar technician and confront him. Even if Hux didn’t get answers about why Matt suddenly pulled away, Hux would make sure Matt stayed silent about the whole interaction.

 

Hux felt better with this plan in mind which allowed him to eventually fall asleep for a few hours before his shift. He completed his work for the day with as much focus as possible but couldn’t deny his impatience for the shift to end. Hux was relieved to finally make it back to his rooms at the end of the day and he quickly pulled up the log of all personnel aboard the Finalizer. There was still a lingering ache beneath his skin when he thought about the previous night and he was ready to confront Matt about it.

 

Except… Matt had no designated bunk number. Not that Hux was planning to storm into the technician barracks like a scorned schoolgirl but still, _everyone_ had a designated sleeping location. The employee profile had a photo of the man Hux had met the night before, his full name – Matthew Borden – his job title and his job qualifications. But that was it. In the profile sections used for sleeping arrangements, emergency contacts and work schedules, everything was blank.

 

Hux felt uneasy. Something was wrong here. He wanted to resolve this without anyone else becoming involved if possible so Hux sent a private message to the employee datapad assigned to Matt: _Scheduling required for mandatory employee review. Please respond promptly with an available date and time to meet_. Hux reviewed it twice before sending the message, confirming that the benign message wouldn’t raise suspicion if anyone else read it.

 

Now all Hux needed to do was wait.

 

#

 

Patience was one of Hux’s strongest skills but after two full day cycles with no response from Matt, Hux’s irritation mounted. Who was this man to barge into Hux’s life, steal his confessions and a few kisses, and disappear? Hux had been paying more attention to the gossip mill than normal and confirmed that there were no whispers about any secret meeting between the General and an employee in a forgotten storage room. But that didn’t mean Hux could relax. He now had a rogue and missing employee who had also seen Hux at the most vulnerable he had allowed himself to be in years.

 

Inevitably Hux had to ask for help but even those he asked had no knowledge of Matt or his whereabouts. Hux asked Mitaka first, then Phasma, and then eventually the heads of every crew department aboard the ship. Everyone he asked seemed nervous and fidgety as they said they weren’t aware of any details about Matt, likely terrified that they would be fired for failing their General. By the end of the week Hux was equally furious and baffled by the mystery of Matt, but he certainly wouldn’t fire his crew over it.

 

At last, almost a week after Hux’s encounter with Matt, he got a lead. Thanisson, one of the petty officers stationed on the bridge of the Finalizer, approached Hux at his desk at the end of their shift. “Sir, are you still attempting to locate that radar technician?”

 

Hux perked up immediately. “Do you know where he is?” Hux hadn’t told anyone all the details of why he wanted to talk to Matt; the fact that there was a missing employee with an incomplete employee profile was problematic enough.

 

“Uh, no,” Thanisson wrung his hands together anxiously. “But I wanted to suggest that you ask Lord Ren.”

 

“Ren?” Hux’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why?”

 

“Perhaps the employee was part of Ren’s crew when he flew out a few days ago,” Thanisson suggested, still looking unnecessarily nervous.

 

Hux had almost forgotten Ren was on a mission away from the Finalizer all week and wouldn’t be returning until that night cycle. Ren didn’t usually take Finalizer employees on missions but there was a possibility Ren had been anticipating an attack or damage mid-mission and wanted to be prepared. “Thank you, Thanisson,” Hux said to the young officer. “I will do as you recommend upon Ren’s return.”

 

Thanisson nodded, gave a short bow and scurried back to his station. Hux’s shift had ended so he bid a quick farewell to Mitaka and returned to his room. As he ordered dinner to be delivered Hux picked up his datapad and skimmed through the listings of all scheduled ship departures and arrivals. Ren’s shuttle was scheduled to land in the secondary hangar bay at 2300 hours that evening. Instead of sending a message to Ren’s datapad which could be easily ignored, Hux decided he would go to the hangar bay to greet Ren’s shuttle personally when it arrived.

 

#

 

Hux was standing nearby as Ren docked his ship and started to power down the engines. A few minutes later when the loading ramp lowered, Ren was the only person to exit the shuttle. Hux felt himself deflate a bit but forced himself to follow Thanisson’s lead all the same. Ren was pretending to not see him and was already halfway to the hangar door when Hux called out his name and jogged to catch up. “I have to talk to you,” Hux stated as he grabbed Ren’s elbow and forced him to stop.

 

Although Ren wore his helmet, Hux could feel the weight of his gaze. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

 

Hux frowned. “That’s not important right now. I need to ask if you know where this radar technician is,” Hux said and held up his datapad where Matt’s profile picture was displayed on screen.

 

“Can’t keep track of your own crew?” Ren scoffed, the sound turning into static through the helmet’s modulator.

 

“I’ve spent nearly a week trying to locate him without success and no one else has been able to locate him either,” Hux defended. “His profile is incomplete so there’s no bunk or crew numbers, no work schedules or anything. I was told to ask you so here I am.”

 

“Who told you to ask me?” Ren snapped, shoulders tense beneath his cowl as he took a menacing step into Hux’s personal space.

 

Hux shoved him back with a hand on his chest and scowled. “Does it matter? Ren, this is serious. We have a rogue employee. He could have sabotaged the ship or stolen information and escaped. I’m about ready to hire bounty hunters to track him down if we don’t find him soon.”

 

“That… won’t be necessary,” Ren sighed. Hux wished not for the first time that Ren was without a helmet so he could read the other man’s expressions. “I know where he is and I can have him meet you at your quarters in less than an hour.”

 

“You… you _what_? So you _do_ know him! Have you been hiding him?” Hux accused, eyes narrowed. “I swear, Ren, if you were involved with all this I’ll—”

 

“You should rest, Hux,” Ren spoke over him, but instead of harsh and demanding the words were soothing and warm. “You’re very tired.”

 

At the same time as Hux stepped forward into Ren’s personal space, intent on giving Ren a good smack to release some anger and show exactly how _not_ tired he was, Hux felt his vision blur. He stumbled a second later and as he fell into Ren’s arms his vision went black.

 

#

 

Hux woke up in his bed on top of the covers, fully clothed and with the lights dimmed to forty percent. Despite the wave of exhaustion that had knocked him out in the hallway, Hux now felt wide awake and refreshed. By Hux's hip there was a man seated on the edge of his bed. Looking at his profile, the man's features were striking and almost regal. And although it shouldn't be the case, his face was familiar. The only difference from Matt's face was the removal of the bulky glasses and the loose blond curls had been replaced by long wavy black hair cascading over the man's shoulders.

 

Hux looked to the side and saw what he needed to confirm his suspicions: two piles of clothes. One pile held Ren's helmet, cowl, cloak and boots. The other pile was composed of Matt's oversized technician uniform, a blond wig and glasses. The man seated on Hux's bed was dressed only in black fatigues which clung to muscles Hux had only learned existed when he clutched at the man's back and arms a week prior.

 

Hux propped himself up on his elbows. "So who are you?" Hux asked, not even knowing which name to use in his head. A sense of betrayal and embarrassment at having played the fool burned inside Hux but he needed to know the truth.

 

For a moment Hux didn't receive an answer. Then, although he kept his forearms on his thighs and his eyes on the ground, the other man responded. "Ben Solo." When Hux failed to react, Ren – Ben? – looked over and their eyes met. "You were the one who said trust goes both ways."

 

Realization broke over Hux's head like a cresting wave, details falling into place. Han Solo, a smuggler father too addicted to the rush of adventure to stick around and raise his kid. And Leia Organa, a senator mother famous throughout the star systems for claiming and clinging to peace. "You weren't lying when you said you couldn't go home," Hux said at last. Hux's co-commander looked away and dropped his head, looking worn out. "So what name should I have been calling you all these years?"

 

"Kylo Ren is correct," Ren confirmed. "It is who I am now. I only told you my birth name to prove that I had no ill intent a week ago."

 

"When you used the Force to coerce me into confiding in you and kissing you," Hux accused.

 

Ren turned back, scowling. "I did no such thing!" he defended. "It's impossible to gain your trust. After two years you barely trusted me enough to do missions, let alone opening up to me."

 

Hux sat up fully now. "I have no obligation to open up to you," he pointed out.

 

"But you have to open up to someone eventually," Ren argued. "And clearly you wanted to because after I used the Force to mentally assure you of the fact that I meant no harm and you could trust me, the rest was all you."

 

Hux cleared his throat, self-conscious about admitting how good it had felt to confide in Ren, even in disguise, and how badly he wanted to continue where they left off a week ago. He was still annoyed about being tricked but his attraction for the other man hadn't faded. The opposite, in fact. Now that Ren was dressed in form-fitting clothes and his face wasn't masked by those ugly glasses, Hux had to acknowledge that Ren was _exactly_ his type.

 

The problem was that there was still a sting of betrayal from the disguise, and rejection from Ren-as-Matt's leaving so abruptly. "So you're telling me that everything you said last week was true?" Hux questioned carefully.

 

"Yes!" Ren insisted. "I swear I only used the Force to reassure you. I didn't coerce you into wanting to talk to me or... anything else. It was just your distrust that was holding you back."

 

More pieces of the puzzle slowly came together in Hux's mind. "So why did you come in a disguise? If you were genuinely concerned about the effects of your words wouldn't it have been better to apologize as yourself?"

 

Ren rolled his eyes and then levelled Hux with a disbelieving look. "You barely tolerate me long enough for your precious mission briefings. I knew you wouldn't give me a chance if I went as myself. I could have forced your mind to accept that I had good intentions but you would've been so defensive already and I didn't want that. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

 

"If you are so worried about my wellbeing then why are you always so...?" Hux searched for a word, "obstinate?"

 

Ren grimaced but didn't look away. "Speak for yourself," he shot back. "All I try to do is my work and prove that I deserve my place, on this ship and at—" Ren's voice seemed to catch in his throat but he forced the words out, "at your side. And you simply look at me like I'm a badly-behaved dog."

 

There was genuine hurt in the strangled tone of Ren's voice and Hux's throat tightened upon hearing it. He had been so busy fighting Ren that he hadn't realized they had both pushed each other too far, and that he had let it spiral. Hux licked his lips and took a deep breath, bracing himself for what would result from his next question. "You're in love with me, aren't you?"

 

Ren's face angled away but the tip of his visible ear turning red was telling enough. "I never said that."

 

"You didn't need to," Hux answered quietly. It all made sense: how Hux's behaviour would make Ren feel scorned, but how Ren cared enough to check on Hux after a bad fight anyway; Ren-as-Matt's admission that he had thought about kissing Hux for a long time; the soft affection of Ren's kisses; and the way Ren had pulled away when Hux moaned the name of Ren's disguise instead of his true name.

 

"I need to go," Ren stood from the bed in a rush and stumbled into his boots. "Like you said last week, we'll both just walk away from this and forget about it."

 

Ren already had his helmet shoved on and his cloak and cowl in one arm, halfway through the door to Hux's living room when Hux got to his feet and caught Ren's elbow, stilling him. "Stay, Ren. Please," Hux requested, using Ren's words from a week earlier. Ren was all corded muscle beneath Hux's hand but he didn't yank away. Hux forced himself to be brave and let himself be vulnerable with this man again, this time knowing exactly who he was with. "I don't want things to go back to how they were before."

 

Ren remained frozen where he stood, as stiff as a statue while his breathing sounded harsh through the helmet. Hux slowly let go of Ren’s elbow to instead reach up and hook his fingers beneath the rim of Ren’s helmet, sliding it up and off his head. He set it on the ground and then framed Ren’s jaw with both hands, turning Ren toward him and pulling him into a shy, hesitant kiss. For a brief moment their lips were pressed together and then Ren stepped out of Hux’s grasp, eyes narrowed. “Don’t do that.”

 

Hux swallowed, stung by the rejection but trying to hide it. “Do what?”

 

“Pretend,” Ren spat the word. “I know you don’t feel the same.”

 

Hux crossed his arms so his hands weren't hanging limp at his side after Ren withdrew. “I’ve never let myself consider it,” Hux said honestly. “I haven’t entertained romantic thoughts for anyone since before the Academy. I don’t know how my feelings might change if we finally stop antagonizing one another so I have no intention of making promises.” Hux sighed. “All I can do is be truthful about what I do know.”

 

“And what do you know, Hux?” Ren pressed. Ren’s eyebrows were still furrowed but he seemed more curious now.

 

“I know that I really enjoyed confiding in you and learning more about you,” Hux answered. “And that it felt good to finally trust my thoughts with someone else. It’s nice to have had a conversation with you rather than an argument.”

 

Ren’s expression was unreadable. “Is that all?”

 

Hux released a breath, mentally chiding himself for feeling nervous. “I also know that I would like to continue where we left off last week before you ran off… And that I would be interested in exploring how a relationship might grow. My objections last week were that you were a stranger and a subordinate; neither of those turns out to be true.” Ren rubbed a hand against the back of his neck, betraying his uncertainty. Hux knew that Ren had to make the tough decision, no doubt wanting what Hux was offering but considering the possibility that Hux would never end up feeling the same way Ren did. “I leave the choice to you.”

 

Ren took a half-step back into Hux’s personal space, the heat of his body radiating into the air between them. “What _exactly_ are you proposing?”

 

Hux held Ren’s questioning gaze. “Let's see if we can be friends without killing one another and then where it goes from there. And sex, if you’re willing.”

 

"You want me to hold you under me like I did in the storage room?" Ren asked as he reached out and placed a hand on Hux's hip, squeezing there. His voice was lower and Hux shivered involuntarily.

 

"That would be agreeable," he said, leaning into Ren's touch.

 

Ren's eyes were dark, his pupils blown wide, but they also seemed distinctly warm when their gazes locked. Hux didn't resist when Ren's other hand rested on his opposite hip and Ren pulled him closer. They were chest to chest, breathing the same air and frozen together in their shared moment before their plunge into something they could never undo. Hux's heart was pattering its excited pace as he watched Ren eye his mouth longingly, remembering how good it had felt a week prior.

 

Finally Ren leaned in. Hux met him halfway and their lips slid together. Hux lifted his arms to wrap around Ren's shoulders to keep him close, eliciting a moan from Ren as Hux's fingers dug into the firm muscle of Ren's shoulder blades. They stayed like that for a long time, relishing in how good something as simple as a kiss and embrace could feel. Ren was slow and tentative as he moved his lips against Hux's, unhurriedly exploring what made Hux keen or melt in his arms.

 

After a few minutes Ren used his hands on Hux's hips to pull him forward, Hux's crotch grinding against Ren's thigh. Hux broke away from the kiss with a breathless gasp for air, heat flooding down his spine and into his swelling cock. When Hux shifted the angle of his body slightly he could feel the telling press of Ren's erection against his hip and Ren struggled to muffle his groan at the friction. This time when Ren reeled Hux into a kiss there was a need there; an urgency that had Ren's fingers gripping Hux's hips tightly enough to bruise.

 

As Ren slowly led Hux the few steps backwards towards his bed Hux went willingly, letting himself be lowered down onto the mattress. Hux reached down for his belt but Ren brushed his hands away, undoing the buckle and tugging Hux's pants halfway down his thighs with methodological fingers. Once Hux's pants were discarded Ren slid his hands beneath Hux's shirt, slowly pulling it up and over Hux's head. The gentle reverence of Ren's movements had Hux's heart aching, wishing he could return the love Ren was so clearly emanating.

 

For now, all Hux could do was pull Ren back into his arms after Ren had removed his own shirt and pants. In nothing but their underwear, Ren's skin pressed against Hux's and Hux soaked in the heat of the larger man. When Hux had imagined a continuation of his encounter in the storage room, he had envisioned frenzied need, movements rough and demanding. This was the exact opposite, Ren lining up their clothed erections and rocking against him slowly as he caught Hux's lips again. Hux couldn't complain though, his toes curling with pleasure and his fingers exploring bared skin curiously as he found a pattern of moles and scars.

 

This was going to be an encounter of lovers rather than an impersonal fuck and Hux silently decided he was okay with that. Hux had always been attracted to Ren's strength and power but had been distracted by the fact that they always ended up fighting, Hux feeling like Ren thought he was incapable of being a good general. Now Hux had seen Ren's body and knew he was physically attracted to Ren as well, and had also been assured that Ren believed in him and could be relied upon in return. They had more in common than Hux would've suspected and Hux could see himself loving this man if they both gave it a chance.

 

Hux was drawn away from his internal thoughts by Ren's lips kissing down Hux's neck and chest towards his abdomen. Just as Ren's mouth started to tease at the waistband of Hux's underwear, Hux threaded his fingers into Ren's hair to still him. Ren lifted his face, looking at Hux nervously. "Did you change your mind?"

 

"No." Hux shook his head, his fingers massaging Ren's scalp. "But it's been a long time since I've had sex," he admitted with a blush. "I don't want to finish too soon."

 

Ren kissed Hux's inner thigh and Hux decided he could get used to this sort of attention. A second later Hux yelped as Ren's teeth sank into his skin deep enough to leave indents. The surprise and burst of slight pain had Hux's heart racing and his cock throbbing in his underwear. Ren's grin was mischievous as he did the same to Hux's other thigh, nipping the skin and then soothing it with his tongue. Hux squirmed but found Ren's hands holding him pinned to the bed, causing Hux to pant with arousal. It was when Ren's tongue dragged along the length of Hux's cock through his underwear that Hux finally broke down and begged, "Please Ren."

 

Ren sat back on his heels and looked around the room. "Do you have supplies?"

 

Hux rolled half onto his side to open the drawer of his bedside table, setting a container of lube and a condom on the mattress. Before Hux could return to his back, Ren grabbed his hips and rolled Hux onto his stomach, large hands spreading Hux's thighs to accommodate Ren sitting between them. Hux lifted his hips to help as Ren removed his briefs and then settled back against the mattress, doing his best to refrain from rutting against the sheets for friction.

 

Although Hux would've pegged Ren for an amateur, his lubed fingers were confident and patient as they opened Hux up. It took a few long minutes of Ren scissoring his fingers and adding more lube, coercing the tight ring of muscles at the entrance of Hux's hole to stretch and relax. While Ren worked, his other hand massaged Hux's thighs and ass, drawing out groans that Hux couldn't fully muffle in his pillow. Hux had always been turned on by the idea of being dominated but never trusted anyone enough to do it. It felt good to finally give in.

 

Out of the corner of his eye Hux watched Ren grab the condom and then heard the wrapper being ripped open. He listened to the sound of Ren removing his own underwear, spreading more lube across his length and then felt the mattress shift below Ren’s weight. A moment later Hux’s cheeks were being spread by Ren’s hands as the head of his cock nudged against Hux’s hole.

 

“Relax,” Ren told him. “Breathe.” Only then did Hux notice the way his fingers were clutching the bed sheets. Hux clenched his eyes closed and tried to breathe deeply but his lungs felt tight, bracing for the pain he expected after going so long without having sex. Ren’s body shifted again but instead of forcing himself inside Hux, Ren leaned over him and pressed open-mouthed kisses to Hux’s neck and upper back. “I won’t hurt you.”

 

Hux’s body relaxed at hearing Ren’s promise and Ren’s cock slid an inch into Hux who released a heavy exhale at the sensation. It was unfamiliar to feel so stretched but it didn’t hurt, which allowed Hux to relax more. Ren continued to pepper kisses onto Hux’s skin as he slowly sunk his length into Hux’s ass until he was fully sheathed. Hux took a few more deep breaths while his body adjusted, skin slick with sweat by now, and then he ground back to see if he could take Ren any deeper.

 

Ren grunted and his hands grabbed Hux’s hips, holding him still. Hux’s cock was already swollen and leaking against the bed, his body desperate for release, and he allowed a needy whine to escape at being stopped. “Ren, come on.” Ren said nothing but he withdrew until only the tip of his cock was in Hux’s ass, hovered there, and then shoved back in all at once. Hux’s body rocked forward with the force of the movement and as Ren’s cock hit his prostate Hux moaned and tried to get his knees under him to change the angle.

 

Ren kept Hux pinned to the mattress, thighs spread around Ren’s body as his cock pushed into Hux again and again. Turned on by Ren’s strength and commanding behaviour, Hux surrendered and took what he was given. He didn’t even need to sneak a hand down to fist himself, Ren’s thrusts causing Hux’s body and cock to rub repeatedly against the mattress. All Hux had to do was lie down and enjoy, though he did still rut back and clench around Ren just to hear the other man groan and curse.

 

“You feel so good,” Ren said to Hux more than once, spoken breathlessly between moans of Hux’s name. Other admissions came too and Hux listened intently. “I’ve wanted this for so long;” and “Better than I imagined;” and “You’re beautiful.”

 

Hux wasn’t sure he deserved the affection Ren was giving him but he wasn’t going to interrupt some of the best sex of his life to complain. Instead Hux moaned at the praise and whispered Ren’s name when he had enough air in his lungs, spurring Ren into a faster pace each time. Soon neither of them could talk, all of their energy focused on the rocking of their bodies as they both spiralled towards the edge of oblivion.

 

In the end it was Ren who finished first. Ren’s hands held Hux’s waist and his body leaned over Hux’s own, his sweaty forehead pressed between Hux’s shoulder blades. With a few jerky thrusts Ren spilled into the condom, a broken sob escaping him as he whispered, “I love you.”

 

The rawness of Ren’s confession paired with the friction against his cock from Ren’s last thrusts had Hux climaxing with a sated moan, his come soaking into the sheets. Ren remained above Hux with his twitching cock inside Hux until it started to soften, and then at last he withdrew slowly. Hux hissed at the friction, his ass sore from use, but he didn’t like how empty he felt when Ren wasn’t inside him.

 

As Hux rolled onto his side Ren returned to sitting on the edge of the bed, his back facing Hux and his shoulders hunched up by his ears. Even though he just wanted to roll over and go to sleep, Hux moved to sit beside Ren, their bare thighs pressed together. “I’m sorry,” Ren said before Hux could decide how to ask about the unshed tears he saw clinging to Ren’s lashes.

 

“For what?” Hux asked. “That was amazing.”

 

Ren ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it away from his face. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

 

Hesitantly Hux reached over and laced his fingers with Ren’s own and squeezed in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture. “It’s okay,” he said, and meant it. “I have no intention of saying it to you unless I mean it because that wouldn’t be fair but… It was nice to hear.”

 

“I never thought I’d get a chance to… to even _tell_ you…” Ren’s eyes remained downcast.

 

With his free hand Hux turned Ren’s face towards him and kissed him gently. Ren’s fingers curled around Hux’s thin wrist, keeping his hand from moving away where it was cupping Ren’s cheek. Hux knew the kiss wouldn’t solve all of Ren’s pain but Hux refused to cheapen Ren’s confession by lying about his own feelings just to make Ren feel better. All he could do was show Ren he didn’t mind, and give their relationship a chance to evolve.

 

“Would you like to stay the night?” Hux asked when the kiss ended. “After I change the sheets, of course.”

 

Ren chuckled and nodded, mood improving when he realized Hux wasn’t immediately going to cast him out after they were done having sex. Hux grabbed new sheets while Ren stripped away the old ones, and as soon as the bed was remade they both lay down. Hux was unaccustomed to sharing a bed but he didn’t let himself get self-conscious. Instead Hux lay down against Ren’s side and rested his head on Ren’s chest, settling into dozy comfort when Ren’s arm looped around him to keep him close.

 

#

 

Hux glanced away from his datapad screen as Ren entered his room and took off his helmet. It was halfway into the sleep cycle but Hux was as unsurprised at finding Ren still walking around as Ren no doubt was about discovering Hux still working in his rooms. It had been over six months since they had formed a truce and in that time they had learned many of the other's intimate thoughts, habits and secrets. Some days were tedious and challenging, old habits dying hard, but they had made a true effort and the results were worth it.

 

"I have three more reports to finish," Hux informed Ren, turning his eyes back to the screen. After a few months Ren had given in and acknowledged Hux's demand that work had to be finished before anything else. With as much attention as he could spare, Hux watched Ren strip down to his fatigues and leave his full knight armour on the table.

 

Hux shuffled to one end of the couch and lifted his arm without being asked, ready to accommodate Ren as he lay down across the remainder of the couch and rested his head on Hux's thigh. Hux lowered his hand onto Ren's arm, thumb tracing mindlessly while he read. In the bedroom Ren was in control but in the rest of his life Ren was an affection and touch-starved man and Hux found that indulging him could be quite enjoyable.

 

Ren said nothing as Hux continued to read. When Hux glanced down he saw that Ren's eyes were closed, his expression relaxed, though he could tell by Ren's breathing that he was still awake. Thirty minutes passed and Hux was just about to begin reading the last report when Ren huffed a sigh. "I leave in a few hours, you know."

 

Hux's thumb stilled on Ren's skin, "I know."

 

"I may not be back for a month." As Ren said this he tilted his face upward so their eyes met.

 

Hux swallowed around the tightening of his throat. "I know that too." He had been briefed on the mission by Snoke, same as Ren.

 

Ren sighed again and sat up. "Maybe I should just go back to my room and try to sleep—"

 

"Stay," Hux requested. Their eyes remained locked.

 

"Why?"

 

"Because I love you," Hux stated simply but firmly, not wanting Ren to have an ounce of uncertainty about Hux's genuineness.

 

"You—?" Ren's mouth parted with shock. His eyes were earnest and imploring, scared but hopeful.

 

"Yes," Hux confirmed. His heart was racing, as it had been for the last week since he finally acknowledged his feelings fully, decided it was time to tell Ren, and tried to figure out the best time to say the words. "I know hours before you leave isn't the ideal time but—"

 

The rest of Hux's words were cut off as Ren leaned in to kiss him. Ren's arms wrapped around Hux and Hux returned the embrace, tilting his face to deepen the kiss. Truthfully he had known for a few months that what he felt for Ren wasn't just friendship or physical attraction, but he had been scared to tell Ren too soon. For half a year Ren had treated Hux with a love he hadn't thought he deserved, and Hux refused to say the words too soon and risk hurting Ren by being wrong about the longevity of his affection for the knight.

 

"I'm sorry it took so long to say it back," Hux apologized between kisses.

 

"Thank you for not saying it until you meant it," Ren countered.

 

Ren was practically glowing, grinning so widely they could barely share another kiss. The joy was infectious, sweeping away Hux's nerves and leaving him smiling in return. "Do you have to leave tomorrow?" Hux asked, even though he knew the answer already.

 

"I do," Ren sighed, though he seemed unwilling to let the mood be dampened. "But I'm staying with you until the last moment, and I'll come back to you as soon as I can."

 

Ren took advantage of their ongoing embrace to pull Hux against him and stand from the couch. Instinctively Hux tightened his arms around Ren's neck and hooked his legs on Ren's hips, already certain of Ren's ability to hold his weight. Their eyes met and Hux kissed Ren warmly. Then without a word of complaint from Hux, Ren walked them into Hux's bedroom and kicked the door shut behind them.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on: [Tumblr](http://onewhositswiththeturtles.tumblr.com/), [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/onewhositswiththeturtles), or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/owswtt)


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